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Forgiveness is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope
Download Ebook Forgiveness is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope
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From Library Journal
According to the results of the Human Development Study Group at the University of Madison, WI, forgiveness leads to improved physical and mental health as well as better relationships. This practical, nonsectarian, self-directed guide is deeply rooted in that study, of which educational psychologist Enright was a leader. Unlike other books on forgiveness (e.g., the writings of Lewis B. Smedes and Philip Yancey), this work doesn't cater to the casual reader seeking hints for self-improvement; Enright's readers must be committed and immerse themselves in the four stages of self-discovery uncovering anger, deciding to forgive, working on forgiveness, and discovery and release. Stressing that the process of forgiveness is different for each person, Enright advises flexibility, discourages the premature setting of specific goals, and encourages readers to draw on the support of a friend or therapist as they work through the phases. This debut title of the American Psychological Association's new trade imprint, APA LifeTools, is highly recommended. Lucille M. Boone, San Jose P.L., CA Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc.
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"Robert Enright is 'the forgiveness trailblazer'."― Time Magazine
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Product details
Hardcover: 299 pages
Publisher: APA LifeTools; 1 edition (September 15, 2001)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1557987572
ISBN-13: 978-1557987570
Product Dimensions:
5.6 x 0.7 x 8.7 inches
Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.4 out of 5 stars
67 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#29,161 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
It's been four years since my wife of 9 years and mother of my two daughters abruptly replaced me with a married man she met at work. I have hated her since that day and the fall out for me has been one bad relationship after another. This last one made me realize that holding onto the grudge against my ex was not worth the failed relationships I had been experiencing. So I turned to this book as a crawling on my knees sort of attempt to change my outlook so I could free myself to be happy going forward. This was exactly what I needed. I breezed through the book, which reads like a how to manual in two days and have immediately been able to see my ex in a different light which has allowed me to cast away years of hate, anger, and resentment. I have no delusions that this feeling is permanent as this book makes it clear that forgiveness is a process and setbacks can and do happen and times will vary. In summary, I recommend this book to anyone that has a person or people in there life that they have been angry with for more than a brief amount of time. Life is too short to waste it being angry.
This is one of the best books I've read in a while. The amount of research put into the studies is second to none. I also like that it looks at forgiveness from a health standpoint. The effects that unforgiveness has not only on your mental health but on your physical body is shocking. It's very practical. You will have to roll up your sleeves grab a note pad, a pen and do some real work. You will definitely uncover quite a bit; things that were tucked away and hidden in your heart begin to surface. Highly recommend this book to any and everybody who has ever been hurt by someone they love.
This is an excellent book on the topic of forgiveness, and more than just a "feel good", "Let's get into a positive place about hard things" book -- this one offers a concrete, step-by-step, practical approach. I was really impressed with the studies they had done at universities and the results they achieved, even with people who started out by say, "No, what happened to me was too terrible. I will never forgive." But we all know (or we suspect) that not forgiving keeps us in a state of mental, emotional, and sometimes physical unwellness. So although we don't have to condone the acts we are looking to forgive, the forgiving heals us. However this is not the kind of book you can read through, give some thought to and be "done." It asks you to do lots of writing (which is critical to this working), sometimes what might seem like repetitive writing, and it takes work. And it asks you to think about, remember, and feel some hard emotions. It's not an instant fix. It's a process, a healing process you put time and work into, but the results will be worth it. Over the years, for various reasons, I have worked with several counselors and therapist. Lots of times I felt like they were nice to talk too, but didn't give me real skills to solve what I was facing. This book does, I think.
The author of Happiness and Three Types of Forgiveness described forgiveness as involving a change of heart. Likewise, Enright described forgiveness as including a decrease in negative feelings and an increase in positive feelings toward the wrongdoer. Enright explained that forgiveness necessitates unconditional mercy as well as respect toward the offender as a fellow human being. This does not entail condoning, forgetting or reconciling. (For reconciliation to occur, the offender must be repentant).Enright did an excellent job of providing strategies for coping with anger. He also delineated the phases of forgiveness and referred to it as a process which occurs on its own time. He succeeded in making the case for forgiveness. It lowers blood pressure and decreases fear, guilt, anger, depression and anxiety. It improves relationships and self-esteem. Perhaps most of all, forgiveness gives people hope.
I really enjoyed this book. It is straight forward, practical, well organized and direct. Everything I want in a self-help book. I don't think it is the be-all, end-all, but it is the best I have found so far on the subject of forgiveness.
Have some deep rooted issues that need resolution and keeping you from moving forward in life? This is your book. Read and re-read.
I purchased four books in a row on this topic. Some books were well intentioned but fell short. This book provided a clear path, personal case examples and had data to validate the processes were effective. The author was not selling a religious point of view but it was not anti-Christian. Even though I purchased this book for me personally I have recommend it to counselors because it is the only book of the four I read that came across as logical.
This book has been incredibly essential to my forgiveness and healing with my partner and the recent death of my mother. It is thoughtful and thought-provoking; exquisite in how it addresses almost every issue and concern we face in our almost ethereal comprehension of forgiveness. It truly brings a tangible feeling to the 'how' we forgive. The author's clear and concise in his writing and description on what forgiveness is/isn't, why we forgive, and detailed in his explanation on what the process is comprised of.Before this book, I had no idea that in order to forgive we had to go through a very systematic process; forgiveness IS a step-by-step process for addressing the underlying issues of our anger and resentments, not just addressing and trying to resolve the anger/resentment itself.I am extremely happy with "happening" upon this book.
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